Table of Contents:
- What Are the Most Popular Types of Wedding Ceremonies?
- 7 Different Ceremony Types for Your Elopement
What Are the Most Popular Types of Wedding Ceremonies?
The most popular types of wedding ceremonies, in the US at least, are civil ceremonies and religious ceremonies.
Civil ceremonies are the most basic and simple form of a legal marriage ceremony: all you need is a legal official (such as a judge, justice of the peace, clerk, mayor, or notary public), vows, rings, and you’re good to go!
Religious ceremonies are connected to a couple’s personal religious customs, beliefs, and faith, and are recognized by not only the legal system but by their church/congregation, too. They’re usually held in a church, temple, mosque, or other religious space, and are officiated by a religious leader.
What if we don’t want a civil or religious ceremony?
Don’t worry, there are other options! We’ll get into those in the next section. But real quick, let’s address WHY a couple might want an alternative wedding ceremony that doesn’t involve religion, or even the legal stuff.
First off, you might just be someone who doesn’t want religion to have any part of your ceremony. And that’s totally great! Your ceremony should be based around who you are and what matters to you/your relationship, but it can be hard to step out of the traditional “box” that’s expected of marriage ceremonies. If you don’t want Bible verses or to hear mentions of God in your officiant’s speech, you don’t have to!
Many queer couples also find that they don’t identify with the traditional religious-based marriage ceremonies, and want to do something that aligns more with who THEY are & what they believe. If you’ve dealt with any sort of shame, guilt, or harm from religious communities because of who you love, then of course it makes sense you would want to leave that out of your ceremony.
Finally, an alternative marriage ceremony might be right for you if you’re not looking to legally get married! I know… you might be wondering why you’d have an elopement or wedding if you’re not even going to get married. But actually, there are plenty of reasons a couple would opt out of a legal ceremony!
Maybe the two of you don’t really care about having that official piece of paper signed, and you’d rather show your commitment in other ways. Or maybe you’re traveling to a destination outside of your home state/country to elope, and it would be a whole lot easier logistically to get married back at home, first—then during your elopement you have a purely symbolic ceremony.
No matter what, there’s no right or wrong here other than what’s right for you!
If you’re into the idea of swapping heteronormative wedding traditions for more gender neutral alternatives, I’ve got a great guide for you here!
7 Different Ceremony Types for Your Elopement
Now that you know what the most popular types of ceremonies are, and why they’re not the right choice for every couple, let’s get into 7 different types of wedding ceremonies you can pick from for your elopement.
Keep in mind that not all of these are available to everyone—some will depend on the county, state, or country you live in, as well as where you’re eloping.
1. Religious Ceremony
As I said earlier, religious ceremonies are officiated by a religious leader, held at a religious site, and enable your marriage to be recognized by your church as well as the law. They are often longer than civil ceremonies, since they can include more elements such as scripture readings, religious messages/sermons, homilies, etc.
Key features of a religious wedding ceremony include:
- Authorized religious leader
- Processional walk
- Faith-focused vows
- Prayers
- Scripture readings
- Unity rituals
- Church, chapel, or sacred religious site as a venue
2. Civil Ceremony
Civil ceremonies are typically shorter and simpler, since the main goal is just to get the couple legally married! You can totally still have a meaningful vow reading, ring exchange, etc., but you won’t necessarily have a super lengthy message or reading by your officiant—since they’ll be a legal official who sticks to a somewhat structured and efficient ceremony script. Civil ceremonies can be held at a courthouse or anywhere your city/county allows. These were super popular during the height of COVID, when couples wanted to tie the knot quickly and with minimal time/effort/guests—then they would often have a celebration later on!
Key features of a civil wedding ceremony include:
- Authorized government official
- Valid marriage license
- Legal witnesses
- Short & sweet ceremony
- Appointment with your county clerk/courthouse
- Minimal guests
- Courthouse or public meeting space as a venue
3. Secular Ceremony
Secular wedding ceremonies are great for couples who don’t want to incorporate any sort of religion into their ceremony. Anybody who is a legally qualified officiant can lead your ceremony, and you can choose if you want to keep it brief or have someone write a longer, more personalized script for you! You can totally include spiritual or faith-based elements even if your ceremony isn’t religious or recognized by a religious entity; secular ceremonies are less about following a traditional script and more about customizing it to your unique lives, values, and relationship.
Key features of a secular wedding ceremony include:
- Non-religious officiant
- Personalized vows instead of a pre-written ceremony
- Legally qualified officiant
- Meaningful unity ceremony
- Looser requirements without the rules/requirements of a clergy, church, congregation, etc.
4. Non-Denominational/Spiritual Ceremony
This is where ceremonies kinda enter a gray area—you’ll find that a lot of these ceremony types share similarities, but are just distinct enough to be their own option. A non-denominational or spiritual wedding ceremony is often religion-oriented or has some sort of spiritual element, but doesn’t belong to a specific sect/denomination. They celebrate more of the couple’s unique values and commitment than a precise doctrine! You might find references to God, faith, or a higher power in a non-denominational/spiritual ceremony, but beliefs are often blended, looser, and much more personalized to the couple.
Key features of a non-denominational wedding ceremony include:
- Non-denominational or spiritual officiant
- Non-religious, meaningful ceremony script
- Personal vows and anecdotes
- Spiritual/symbolic unity ceremonies
5. Interfaith Ceremony
An interfaith wedding ceremony is simply one that blends multiple religious traditions! If you and your partner share different religious beliefs or backgrounds, an interfaith ceremony allows you to bring them both together in celebration of your commitment, rather than choosing just one (or neither) to be the “main” foundation for your ceremony. You might choose an officiant who is familiar with both of your backgrounds, a non-denominational officiant, or even co-officiants—one to represent each of your faiths. Interfaith ceremonies often include meaningful rituals that are special to the couple and represent bringing their separate belief systems into one beautiful blended marriage!
Interfaith ceremonies are most commonly established as civil ceremonies but can also be recognized by your church, congregation, etc., depending on what background you come from.
Key features of an interfaith wedding ceremony include:
- Religious-based ceremony scripts
- Religious, faith-based, or personal vows
- Co-officiants to lead your ceremony together
- Combined unity ceremonies or rituals
- Religious symbols
6. Symbolic/Commitment Ceremony
A symbolic or commitment ceremony allows couples to commit to their relationship in a purely, well, symbolic way… without legalizing it. There are a few reasons you might choose to do a symbolic ceremony or a commitment ceremony (they’re essentially the same thing):
- You’re eloping in a different state or country, and it’s easier to do the legal paperwork back home
- You don’t believe in or desire legal marriage, but you still want to make a commitment to one another
- You’re already legally married and want to renew your commitment or vows
Symbolic wedding ceremonies are much easier to make happen than legal ceremonies, since they don’t require any paperwork, licenses, or witnesses; just the two of you and your love for one another. You CAN absolutely have someone (non-legally) “officiate” a ceremony for you if you still like the idea of a meaningful script or message about your relationship, and you still want someone to walk you through your vows of commitment. Symbolic ceremonies give you a ton of freedom and take away all the logistics!
Key features of a symbolic or commitment ceremony include:
- Meaningful unity ceremonies or rituals
- Personal vows or letters
- A loved one to lead your ceremony
- Ring or jewelry exchange (or a different type of symbolic gift exchange)
7. Humanist Ceremony
Humanist wedding ceremonies are most popular in the UK (Scotland especially), but there are definitely options for couples who want a Humanist ceremony in the US. The Humanist Society actually has nearly 400 Humanist Celebrants (officiants) around the US!
Humanist ceremonies don’t involve any sort of supernatural or divine belief system, and are much more focused around individual values and deeper reflections on what it means to be a human in this world! They’re non-religious, inclusive, and yes, legal. Compared to a non-religious civil ceremony where you’re married by a judge or county clerk, Humanist celebrants really get to know their couples beforehand so they can create an entirely personal ceremony.
Key features of a Humanist ceremony include:
- A Humanist celebrant
- Symbolic ceremonies and rituals
- Emphasis on the couple’s values and unique love story
- Deeply personal vows
- Poetry, music, or meaningful readings
No matter what type of ceremony you choose to have at your elopement (legal or not, religious or not), it is sooo important to have a photographer you love there to document it for you.
I’m Bree, an intimate wedding and elopement photographer—and I just so happen to be an ordained officiant too! So if you’re looking for someone who can do it all, and will let you read your vows in private & do your own thing… but still get you legally married at the end of it, I’m your girl.
Inquire now and give me all the deetz of the elopement you’re envisioning for your big day! Can’t wait to hear which type of ceremony you’ve decided is right for you!
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